I am feeling so confident from all the support I have received from my anxiety rep post that I want to do another one about something else that affects my life. It doesn’t affect it not like anxiety does but it still is affects me everyday in the little things I do. Like I mentioned in my previous post about anxiety rep, which you can find here, I also have OCD tendencies. What this means is that I don’t have full blown OCD but I have tendencies that border on the OCD side.
What this means is that things have to be done a certain way with me or it bothers me so much that I will redo it. One example is that of laundry. I alone do laundry because I feel it will be done “wrong”. Towels have to be folded a certain way. Clothes put away just right.
Everyday, I repack my backpack for work. Notebooks have to be together. Books up to the front. I have to make sure nothing gets bent. Pens in their designated spot.
Hell, even in video games, the tendencies do not leave. I have to open and look through each thing I have received in an Overwatch lootbox. My Destiny vaults are so organized. No unneeded gun or armor.
Those are just a few examples. I know they don’t seem like much but if I don’t fold a towel right and I just leave it there, it will bug me and get inside my head so much that I end up getting up and just dealing with the towel.
Because of this, I wanted to make a post about some rep that I would love to see in books about OCD tendencies. Again, I am no expert in OCD tendencies or OCD in general. I am an expert in my own OCD. In this post, I looked up what the behaviors I do are officially called to help be a little more concise.
Here are just a few things that I would love to see in MCs that have OCD/tendencies:
→checking behavior: this is checking things constantly. Did I shut the oven off? Is the door locked? Did I turn the heat on? Did I turn my alarm on? Do I have to work today? Those are things that I will often check and recheck and check again. Even if I play through the day in my head, I will think that it’s from another day so I have to get up from whatever I was doing and check. I would like to see an MC with OCD/tendencies exhibit this behavior as it is such a big part of my life. I know it might come off as repetitive in the book but life with OCD can be about repetitiveness.
→organization: like I mentioned above with my backpack, I want to see an MC organize anything. Is their desk straightened to a tee and everything has a home? Is their car clean as a whistle with nothing out of place. It’s little things like that that really showcase just what people with OCD/tendencies deal with.
→unwanted thoughts: this isn’t talked about a lot with OCD/tendencies. What this means is that there are thoughts that happen all the time and mostly unwanted. They can be violent in nature but often times it’s just a constant spinning wheel of thoughts. This would be so good to see because those thoughts alone are hard to deal with and reading about someone who deals with them would really help.
→guilt: now this isn’t an OCD/tendency per se but it’s very much present in OCD and other anxiety disorders. There is a constant amount of guilt I feel all the time when I do the things listed above. It’s awful and I try hard to not feel guilty because I know it’s not me but my brain. But the guilt still doesn’t stop.
So those are some of the things I would like to see when I read books about MCs with OCD/tendencies. Like I mentioned above, I know that everybody who has OCD will experience different things but even seeing just one of those would make my heart happy. I will know that I am not alone.
I hope you enjoyed this discussion post. Like the anxiety one, this took a lot for me to do. I am a lot less vocal about my OCD than I am with my anxiety. OCD is often so misunderstood and it makes it hard to discuss it and what I deal with. But thanks to the encouraging messages and comments, I feel a little braver about voicing them.